Search continues for Lochness Monster, Chupacabra.

Startling details of a NASA photograph bloggers recently uncovered seem to indicate the existence, and possible origin of, Bigfoot.

As is common in all government coverups, NASA officials have attempted to discredit the 2004 image taken by its own Spirit rover, saying that it is just a pebble less than two inches tall.

This is obviously official flack because it is generally agreed that a sasquatch, bigfoot, or yetti is approximately 7 feet tall. The pressing question now is, how did Bigfoot get on Mars? Or more importantly, is this perhaps evidence that a race of extraterrestrial apelike beings, possibly Wookies, roams our solar system, and that the creature we call Bigfoot may not actually be indigenous to earth? If this is indeed the case, then we can infer that Star Wars creator George Lucas has had special knowledge of this race for years.

Alternatively, one can’t help but wonder about the startling similarities between the Mars Bigfoot image and the first boss from Altered Beast. Even more startling is that LucasArts was at one time a third party publisher for Sega Dreamcast. Sega, you’ll recall, was the company that published Altered Beast.

As plots and theories twist and writhe like a pile of oiled-up snakes, it’s a good bet that Lucas will continue to lay low.

It’s also a good bet that Tom Cruise will comment publicly and embarrasingly about the Mars photo. Count on some unintelligible mumblings about Xenu and a wall of fire. As relevant and blurry as Bigfoot’s Mars vacation pictures.

“Okay Rach, this is your area…”

Category: Stuff