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LHC To End World:
Women and Minorities Hit Hardest

They’re firing up the Large Hadron Collider over in Europe on Wednesday.

The LHC is over 16 miles in circumference. According to their website, “The results of LHC experiments will probably change our fundamental knowledge of the universe.” However, it also mentions that particle accelerators are used to dry the paint on soft drink cans.

So, when they hit the button and open a black hole, maybe we’ll all instantaneously flip inside out or get absorbed into some supra-reality, but probably not. If we do, then it’s been fun.

But on the off chance that we’ll live to see Thursday, here are some freshly baked, pleasingly yucky 4-H blucky corpses.

Two adults and two teens put these together in about three hours. Not bad. Not bad at all. Thanks, Josh, for the pics!

Clown with a terrible name

Señor Terrible

I’m not usually into the whole evil clown kick. I really prefer werewolves.

But there’s a sort-of Captain Spalding vibe going on with this guy, so I figured I’d just let it develop. Brr, he gives me the creeps.

There’s a bait store on the edge of some small dusty town where this guy breeds crickets in a back room and watches Mexican wrestling on a beat up old black and white TV. The store has been closed for years; crates and shelves covered in mold, insects crawling on every inch of the counters, floors, and walls.

And there he sits at his sagging card table next to the back door. A single florescent light shines coldly above his sweating head. He mutters to himself and chuckles whenever a bug comes close enough for him to smash, sometimes eat. An ash tray overflows onto the floor where the cracked linoleum is dyed a creamy yellow from years of squashed cockroaches.

Señor Terrible. Completely crazy.

Sweet treats for little … tricks

I like vintage advertisements. They are a window into the past, curiosities that depict a world that is completely alien to anyone born after 1975.

Where “more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette”, and we drank the “slenderizing, lithiated lemon soda” called 7-Up, it was a place that I find fascinating.

Here are some fun, over-saturated Halloween ads I’ve been saving for a dreary Friday afternoon.

Grim of Grim Hollow

Wouldn’t you love to see the kids’ faces as they try to edge past this guy on their way up the driveway on Halloween night?

“I won’t look, I won’t look, I won’t look. If I don’t look at him he won’t look at me.”

Grim is the most terrible creation of the very terrible artist at Grim Hollow Haunt.

There’s something really attractive about the flow of motion here that suggests he’d happily swipe your head clean off your shoulders if you got too close. In fact, I bet that’s what we’re seeing here. He sweeps through the night collecting heads and turns them into Jack-o-lanterns to take back to his lair.

Brr…can you imagine what his place must look like? Shelves and book cases filled with burning Jack-o-lanterns stacked to the ceiling. Halls and caverns filled with them, whispering, smoldering, sputtering.

If that isn’t a great idea for a new story to add to the Halloween book I need to write someday, then I’m a pumpkin.

Visit Grim Hollow Haunt