Entries Tagged as 'Grumble Say'

How thick should a paper mache pumpkin be?

Alternate title: How many licks does it take
to get to the pumpkin roll center of a Grumble top?

Horde of Pumpkins“Horde of pumpkins” by our friend Valerie

Minion TSchroder writes (to Grumble, by accident):

“Hey was wondering how many layers it takes to make a grumble pumpkin head. I tried your idea to use a plastic bag and fill it with paper. Hope it works really excited about how it is turning out.”

Dear tschroder,

Grumble say what mean, “how many layers make Grumble head”? Not know what talk about! Not do puny Spook Man mashy paper stuff!

Oops, Spook here. I’ll take this one.

Sorry, Grumble gets agitated when people ask him prop questions. He’s been on this “Dear Abby” kick, and wants questions like “Is my roommate an alien?” or “When is the best time to plant birdseed?” He’s really sensitive, in his own way, and I think he feels neglected because I get way more mail than he does.

Anyway, regarding your pumpkin question, lots.

The more layers you use to build a Stolloween-style pumpkin, the better. You want it to be strong enough to survive the de-gizzarding process (when you cut a hole in the bottom and pull out the insides). If you choose clay for detail work, you’ll need a nice thick shell to hold up the extra weight. Paper clay, when you pile it on, can get heavy. But it’s great for building up all those neat pumpkiny ridges and things. And boils. Some of the best pumpkins have boils.

If you’re lucky enough to have some really thick material, like brown paper shopping bags, then you may only need two or three layers. For newspaper, recycled phone books, and other thinner material, you may want to add up to five layers. The type and thickness of your glue plays a part, too. Try a 3:1 mixture of Elmer’s glue and water. That is, three parts glue to one part water.

You can test your (fully dried) pumpkin head’s tensile strength by pressing down with your thumb in various spots. This will give you a measure of its “Yield strength”, or the amount of stress a material can withstand without becoming permanently deformed. If it gives too easily, or if you push through and accidentally pop yourself in the eye, then you might consider adding a few more layers.

This is a very subjective test, so a dent here or there doesn’t necessarily mean your pumpkin isn’t plenty strong overall. But if it worries you, then add an extra layer. Another trick used by some large-scale model builders is to “harden” the piece with a coat of glue. Just paint on the 3:1 Elmer’s mixture and let it dry. Repeat as many times as you like.

Thanks for writing, and have a great haunt!

Further reading
Grumble’s paper mache pumpkin head
Stolloween – Gourd guru and professional patriarch of paper mache

Grumble AFLAC Duck Voice Audition

GrumbleOur pal, Grumble, upon first inspection, might seem a perfect example of the expression “a face for radio” which, according to UrbanDictionary.com, is:

“One with commendable broadcasting abilities, yet an appearance of far lesser appreciation.”

After reviewing his recent AFLAC voice audition reel, however, the phrase “a voice for silent pictures” comes to mind.

Grumble’s AFLAC voice audition reel

Grumble Say – About Terrible Puppies

Grumble say if can’t convince a dog wag his tail, then better examine conscience. If that not work, give steak. Still not work, get cat.

Grumble say welcome to terrible world of Grumble, where Grumble answer all question and fix all problem.

Now, what happen today? Not care! Grumble say about what happen last week when terrible Sheltie puppies infest House of Grumble. Puny Spook man and horrible Spook wife bring home five bad kind of puppies. Smell like cheese. Found hiding under big banana on wheels used to move awful children back and forth school.

Take puppies doctor, get checkup, all good shape. Then bring to House of Grumble and wash till smell like repulsive lily flower. Give toys, watch destroy House of Grumble, chew Atari games.

Grumble say, “Not eat puppies.” Puppies chomp Grumble.
Grumble say, “Not chomp Grumble!” Puppies play hide-seek in Grumble coat. Grumble roar, “Ack! Tickles!” Puppies rush Grumble, lick face, make puddles. Where puppies store all that puddle water?

Grumble give up, let climb and chomp on Grumble. Sharp teeth like baby velociraptors impress, dismay. Nanny dogs Hannah and Georgie agree.

Little monster chomps have supper, go to bed. Grumble pretend tasting, kiss each on head, get fuzz in mouth. Next day, go see lady give them new homes to chomp, make puddles.

Now Grumble house not “Yap! Yap!” noisy. Not get constant lick lick lick face, smell terrible puppy breath. Not get slobbery Grumble coat anymore.

All got new homes, all safe. Grumble wonder what terrible monster puppies doing now. Not forget. Think house very quiet.

Grumble go stomp around, make noise, eat sandwich, pet nanny dogs.

See more pictures of terrible Sheltie puppies here.

It’s your old pal Spook here…

If you have a dog or cat that you can no longer take care of, or if a stray comes to visit, the pound is not your only option. There are rescue organizations that can help.

Dog rescues by breed/state (American Kennel club)
More dog rescues (Google)

Please consider adopting from your local animal shelter.
Another great place to look for good slobbers is Petfinder.com.
Live in, or near, Indiana? Somebody here wants to come live with you.

Grumble Say – About Ants

What happen puny blue man? Probably disappear in puff of logic or something. Pffft!

Grumble say welcome to terrible world of Grumble, where Grumble answer all question and fix all problem.

Now, what happen today? Not care. Grumble say about ants. Not think about puny ants much till get in places not want, like pants or Frankenberry. That when get attention. See two ants walk along side of pool, not care. Million ants in deep end a different matter. Change world.

You say, “How that happen? Grumble not know what talk about!” Grumble say shut hole and listen.

Long time ago ants come America where can make own life. They build towns, learn inventions, go church where want. After while, decide not like sissy king push them around, tell king kiss foot. This make king go bat-poo crazy.

See, terrible king of Angle Land like deep end of pool where he float without stub nasty toes. Not have to work. Just float around and boss all ants. He hate ants in deep end, so he make lots new rules, put red coats in charge. He think some coats scare ants, make them give up want freedom.

Terrible red coats smash some ants, but rest get together and say, “We in deep end ants!” Rest history.

Grumble like hear about history of country on Fourth of July, light pretty sparklers, eat tasty hot dog.

Hope have good In Deep End Ants Day. Grumble go see if find puny Spooky man now, make sandwich, pet dogs.