This changes everything.

We’re mapping uncharted waters on a challenging new project that has taught your old pal Spook that to clear the bar, when raised high enough, sometimes requires a new pair of sneakers. In other words, never stop learning. Failure hurts, spectacular failure might need stitches.

This mysterious project requires a corpse that is, among other things, altogether believable. Building to this level of realism meant that I had to evaluate, and ultimately toss out, some old methods. Rewrite the book, so to speak. Chapter One begins, “How to build a realistic paper mache skeleton”.

Now, I’d heard cat’s-paw rumors across the internets for years about folks who have made paper mache replicas of a bucky skeleton, but I never seriously considered attempting it myself. What a nightmare, I thought. There are too many details, I thought. I was wrong.

We needed a complete torso and one arm, but legs weren’t necessary, so I swiped Mrs. Spookyblue’s aluminum foil out of the pantry and got to work.

The trick to covering a skeleton in aluminum foil is to hit one area at a time and to work in layers until you can smooth the metal with a fair amount of force without poking through. Start with the front and wrap the foil as far back as you can reach without lifting the skeleton off the table.

Apply torn paper strips, continuously smoothing as you work, and allow the first layer to dry before adding a second layer. When the second layer is dry, turn the skeleton over and repeat.

When foiling the back, overlap the dry paper mache with new foil by two or three inches. Add paper strips, but leave a small margin around the edges of the foil so that the new paper doesn’t come into contact with what you’ve already done.

After the paper is completely dry, carefully peel off the back and set it aside. It should remove fairly easily. The front is another story.

The rib cage is one big undercut, which means you’ll have to slice it up with a razor blade to de-mold it. I cut mine right down the middle, across the sternum, and along the spine. I also had to cut a few odd bits around the shoulders, but it eventually pulled away. Remove as much of the foil as you can, then duck tape the pieces back together. Add another paper layer to hide the seams, and you end up with a very detailed, anatomically correct skeleton. No more rolling newspaper bones.

Okay, technically it’s not a skeleton if there is skin between the bones, but if you got this far, then you can figure that part out on your own. Our ghoul needed some putrid, disgusting skin on his bones. Besides, it’s a good excuse to break out your Dremel.

Paper Mache Skeleton V2.0 – Part 2

Related material that covers a zillion or so glossed-over details:
Groundbreaker Corpses
Witches
Crow – Ver. 1.0 skeleton – On a stick
And so on

Category: Halloween   Tags: paper mache, paper mache skeleton

Ask any parent waiting for the first day of school.

Summer, while not yet officially over, and seemingly unwilling to leave the premises without a police escort, is nevertheless finally winding down. Shadows grow bold and come out a little earlier each day. This is their time to sniff the air, check the alarm clock, strrrretch, and roll over for another catnap.

The aromas of baking asphalt, grape soda, earthworms, fresh tomatoes, and hot canvas will be gone soon and followed by the unmistakable fragrance of a freshly sharpened pencil, new sneakers, and old library books.

School’s in session, and we’re gearing up to teach a series of paper mache classes that begins on September 16.
Anyone living in the Indyucky (Kentuckiana) area who is interested in attending must register before the September 10 deadline. Clarksville Parks & Recreation is hosting the class and handling registrations.

Classes will be 6:00PM-8:00PM on Sept 16, 23, 30, and Oct 7.

In this 8hr course, we’ll start with the basics, explore paper clay that you make yourself, and then tackle giant Jack-O-Lanterns, gargoyles, and more.

For more info…
Clarksville Parks & Rec “Things to Do”
Registration Form

Note: We’re third down on the list, so make sure you’re signing up for the right class. I know almost nothing about belly dancing.

Category: Halloween, Stuff   Tags: monster mache, paper mache class

There’s really nothing like a cool, damp, gray Saturday morning spent nosing through boxes of dusty relics at an outdoor auction. The coffee-flavored air tells dozens of little stories of excitement, disappointment, victory.

It was neither gray, nor cool, two Saturdays ago at the Shrader Funeral Home in New Albany where folks gathered (closely) for a very special estate auction. “Flavored” is an accurate, if unfortunate, word to describe the still air as temperatures remained in the brutally hot top-rafters-of-the-hay-barn range.

Mrs. Spookyblue and I, Although dehydrated and toasted like a couple of campfire marshmelons,

“Well, I’ll be damned. A marsh melon.” *

walked away with (staggered, actually) this vintage embalmer’s table. Its stainless steel top and cast iron base weigh in at roughly a VW Beetle, but it looks really cool.

In its upright position with all the mechanicals underneath, this thing reminds me of Dr. Frankenstein’s lab table. Some penetrating oil is all that was needed to free up the mechanisms. I have no idea the most efficient way to safely remove the years of paint layered over everything. How much lead can one absorb before renting himself out as a dental X-ray smock?

In any case, someday this will make a fine buffet table.

* One of the few memorable highlights from “Star Trek V”
Kirk: What are you doing?
Spock: I am preparing to toast a marsh melon.
McCoy: Well, I’ll be damned. A marsh melon. Where’d you learn to do that?
Spock: Before leaving the ship, I consulted the computer library to familiarize myself with the customs associated with “camping out.”
McCoy: Well, tell me, Spock. What do you do after we toast the marsh – er, marsh melons?
Spock: We consume them.
McCoy: I know we consume them. I mean after that.
Spock: Oh. I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the “singalong.”

Category: Halloween   Tags: auctions, embalmers, embalming table

 Bowl a perfect score and you get to keep your soul.

The Ambush Arcade at Snug Harbor is getting an overhaul. This project has been brewing for some time, but it officially hatched the day after I stumbled over (literally) an excellent deal on a dozen or so boxes of vinyl VCT floor tile. Never be afraid to investigate the drearier, dustier corners of your local flea market. But wear shin guards.

We ripped up the carpet last week. After the concrete is prepped, I’ll start putting down the tile. You’re so ugly, whenever you go to the beach, cats try to bury you!

Experimenting with different patterns is fun, and I’m envisioning Space Invaders marching across the floor. I just haven’t figured out the best way to cut out the shapes. That CNC machine I keep dreaming about would be perfect for the job.

One evening last week, whilst I was locking up for the night, I had to pause and appreciate just how creepy the room looked with everything gone.

Category: Stuff   Tags: arcade, skee ball, snug harbor