Carpet “Latex” Adhesive

Carpet adhesive - meh


From the dead letter office…
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.

Subject: Carpet Adhesive

I think I purchased the wrong product. It said latex on the container, and easy cleanup. After applying the adhesive to my pumpkin it never dried. It is still tacky to the touch. I did put some talcum on it, and it really helped but my ridges on the pumpkin are still soft. What do you recommend I do to correct this problem, or is this normal?

Thank you,
Katrin, your newest Fan!

Hi, Katrin!

Always good to have a new minion. Make sure to drop by HR to get fitted for your Dreadnought uni-tard. We’re switching to a new darker gray with rust red piping this fall. Capes are for formal occasions only, and you’ll have to buy your own. We recommend a tailor shop down on Broadway, and if you use him, we reimburse the cost. It’s just more efficient that way.

Ah, the tacky, yuck, sticky flooring adhesive question again. (I get this a lot) I must update the website with more information so folks won’t unnecessarily freak out over this stuff.

Okay, the good news is that your pumpkin is probably dry. Or, maybe that’s the bad news. You see, this flooring adhesive stuff dries tacky. Very tacky. I think the phrase “Anna Nicole Smith tacky” was used on the site before it was just a mean thing to say and not extraordinarily cruel. It’s going to feel like the inside of a zombie’s chest cavity for a long time.

Talcum powder (or plain old dirt) will take away the tackiness. You have to rub it in for this to work. Just sprinkling it on and dusting it off won’t cut it; and use a lot. Pretend you’re a 17 year old zombie getting ready for the big dance. A sprinkle a day helps keep maggots away, and that cute redhead on the debate team hates maggots. You’re used to them, and it’s no big deal if one or two drop off now and then. They wriggle off on their own errands. But sheesh! A couple of the little guys get curious at the lunch table and it’s pandemonium!

Try the talc regimen again, and rub it in good. An old paint brush can help to get it into all the little crooks and nannies.

~ Headspook

Answers to a few other faqs on the subject:

– “Carpet latex” is just a generic term for “flooring adhesive”. It’s about the consistency of peanut butter, and you can get it just about anywhere (Wal-mart, Home Depot, Lowes). Try looking for Roberts 3300 Carpet Adhesive. Or buy it here!

– You either like carpet glop or you hate it.  It worked fine for me, but after migrating to white PVA glue (Elmer’s), I don’t miss it.

– Poly vinyl acetate. White Elmer’s glue. Get it by the gallon at HD.
Or buy it here!

7 Responses to “Carpet “Latex” Adhesive”

  1. I have found that it is tacky also but while it is still tacky I have found that that is a good time to paint it. Yes it will shrink a little but it also sticks real good. I give it a second coat to cover the stretch marks. I have not had any flaking or peeling after doing this.

  2. Can I turn in my old Dreadnought uni-tard for the new one, or just stick with the “Happy pumpkin orange” one? (That was a bad year to join.)

  3. Members of the Legion of Terror get upgrades as part of their bonus package. It’s all in the booklet that was in the welcome packet under your seat during orientation.

    Here’s a link you may find helpful …
    100 Things I’d Do If I Became An Evil Overlord

  4. I bought Elmers floor adhesive will that work ok?

  5. Never used it myself, but I can’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t work. I’m sure you’ll do just fine. :)

  6. Actually, there is a significant difference between Carpet Latex, and Carpet Adhesive. Carpet Latex is a fast drying Cement used to hold carpet together at the seams. Carpet Adhesive is a non -totally drying Adhesive, used to glue carpet squares down. This stuff should “Never” completely dry as that would ruin its Sticky Adhesive power. Roberts sells both.

  7. Well. Now we know. Thanks for clearing that up! ;)