Alternate title: How many licks does it take
to get to the pumpkin roll center of a Grumble top?

“Horde of pumpkins” by our friend Valerie

Minion TSchroder writes (to Grumble, by accident):

“Hey was wondering how many layers it takes to make a grumble pumpkin head. I tried your idea to use a plastic bag and fill it with paper. Hope it works really excited about how it is turning out.”

Dear tschroder,

Grumble say what mean, “how many layers make Grumble head”? Not know what talk about! Not do puny Spook Man mashy paper stuff!
…
Oops, Spook here. I’ll take this one.

Sorry, Grumble gets agitated when people ask him prop questions. He’s been on this “Dear Abby” kick, and wants questions like “Is my roommate an alien?” or “When is the best time to plant birdseed?” He’s really sensitive, in his own way, and I think he feels neglected because I get way more mail than he does.

Anyway, regarding your pumpkin question, lots.

The more layers you use to build a Stolloween-style pumpkin, the better. You want it to be strong enough to survive the de-gizzarding process (when you cut a hole in the bottom and pull out the insides). If you choose clay for detail work, you’ll need a nice thick shell to hold up the extra weight. Paper clay, when you pile it on, can get heavy. But it’s great for building up all those neat pumpkiny ridges and things. And boils. Some of the best pumpkins have boils.

If you’re lucky enough to have some really thick material, like brown paper shopping bags, then you may only need two or three layers. For newspaper, recycled phone books, and other thinner material, you may want to add up to five layers. The type and thickness of your glue plays a part, too. Try a 3:1 mixture of Elmer’s glue and water. That is, three parts glue to one part water.

You can test your (fully dried) pumpkin head’s tensile strength by pressing down with your thumb in various spots. This will give you a measure of its “Yield strength”, or the amount of stress a material can withstand without becoming permanently deformed. If it gives too easily, or if you push through and accidentally pop yourself in the eye, then you might consider adding a few more layers.

This is a very subjective test, so a dent here or there doesn’t necessarily mean your pumpkin isn’t plenty strong overall. But if it worries you, then add an extra layer. Another trick used by some large-scale model builders is to “harden” the piece with a coat of glue. Just paint on the 3:1 Elmer’s mixture and let it dry. Repeat as many times as you like.

Thanks for writing, and have a great haunt!

Further reading
Grumble’s paper mache pumpkin head
Stolloween – Gourd guru and professional patriarch of paper mache

Category: From The Undead Letter Office, Grumble Say, Halloween   Tags: grumble, paper mache, paper mache pumpkin

From the Undead Letter Office…

Our friend, Makin’ Bacon’ writes:

Have you ever done a scarecrow that had 3 heads or skulls coming out of the chest? I saw a pic somewhere last year and can’t find it. I’d like to use it as inspiration for one for a charity haunt. From what I remember, it was very reminiscent of your work.
Thank you

Dear Makin’ Bacon’,

There are rumors that H.P. Lovecraft once took a gander at the Necronomicon, which inspired his Cthulhu dreams. I’ve also heard it said that writers often turn to writing in order to expunge impinging demons; lock them up in the Word, so to speak. Still others believe that the artist, driven to create, causes his dreams to become reality. If not in his own mind, then in the minds of others. The world is a myth and we’re all characters from someone else’s pulp fiction.

This makes for some fun thought experiments, but that bucket has a lot of holes with respect to things like free will, and doesn’t hold much water. And yet science reveals that the universe began (has always existed/might not exist) as an infinitesimal quanta of energy. That from le pointe vierge propagated reality, the universe, puppies, and hot fudge sundaes. How does this differ greatly from “I think, therefore you exist”?

Accordingly, and to preserve public safety, I have not built a scarecrow with skulls coming out of its chest. You must have me confused with another, less responsible, haunter.

Thanks for the note,
Headspook

Update: Our pal “momZax” sent us this link to Witchotastic’s (very irresponsible, very cool) Keeper of Souls, which may be the project M.B. was looking for.

World as myth: See Lazarus Long
Further Reading – Robert A Heinlein: Glory Road, To Sail Beyond The Sunset, Time Enough For Love, I Will Fear No Evil, The Number of The Beast

Category: From The Undead Letter Office   Tags: philosophy, scarecrow

“Moving on” is really someone you thought was gone whispering in your ear, “Come on, let’s go!”

So with that in mind …

Getting the jump on the first September morn by about a week, some unusually oblique creatures take shape out of a pile of primordial pool noodles from the “parts” bin.

If you haven’t already raided the stores for clearanced pool noodles, now’s the time.

Category: Halloween   Tags: Monsters, paper mache, Pool noodles

Pet owners facing the end of a pet’s life often ask the question, “When do I know that it’s time?” My answer has always been, “they’ll let you know,” but I could never quantify what that meant until early this morning.

Our Collie, Hannah, who loaned us our namesake “Spooky Blue”, passed away this morning at the age of 12.

In these later years, painful arthritis made walking difficult for her. She had suffered a type of nerve damage that took away her bark and sometimes made it hard for her to breathe. All this she took in stride. She adapted, and barks became “hoots”. Although it hurt to get up, she still got up. No matter how long it took to trudge up the little hill where she liked to sit and survey, she trudged, rested, trudged, and always got there. She swiped Georgie’s toys and paraded around, blatantly daring her Sheepdog sister with her trademark swagger, but always letting her win the duel.

However she felt, whatever her troubles, she never failed to have a smile ready with a faceful of kisses. And if that wasn’t enough to get your attention, she might gnaw your arm or steal a sock.

When that reservoir of endurance runs low, and when she has nothing left for smiles and hoots, then it’s time.

She kissed us both thoroughly this morning before going to sleep, peacefully, in our arms. And even though this hurts worse than any goodbye I’ve been through yet, I don’t believe anyone ever got a better send-off.

Category: Stuff