Here is another group of old magazine ads for … stuff from … some time back. If you’ve missed previous installments on this subject, you’ll enjoy these. ::1:: ::2:: ::3:: ::4::
	If by “Banquet” you mean nude drunken civil disturbance. Can you find the third woman in this picture? We wonder if she shares the glazed stare of the copper-haired beauty on the left. “Sweet elixer of life, I hunger for you.”
	I don’t know what this an advertisement for, but judging by the number of phallic symbols, I’d guess it’s either lipstick or corn dogs.
	In a park somewhere in central Florida, a pod of Disney animatronic robots attempts to blend in with the local flora after bludgeoning three imagineers and slipping out an unlocked gate. It wasn’t hard to find them as they all stood perfectly still, one boy slowly pivoting around to swing at the softball hanging from a tree branch.
	Nothing brings out the hearty flavor of molten cheeze whiz and corrugated pig shavings like the zippy taste of Hunt’s Tomato Catsup. But we draw the line at whatever that disturbing green thing is.
	In the future of 1965, your house will come equipped with its own built-in weather radar/anti-commie warning receiver on the roof. Thin sheets of plastic will have the insulating properties of six inches of fiberglass as well as the tensil strength of steel. Friendly sentient snowmen will roam the countryside.

Category: Stuff  

Only 29 more shopping days until Halloween, kids!

Looking for the perfect gift for your favorite haunter, or for your pet zombie who lives in the shed out in the garden? We recommend Dawn of the Dead – The Unreleased Incidental Music Soundtrack.

This is currently at the top of my list of favorite (if not oddest) records, but as much as I admire Mr. Romero, I have to believe that the genius behind this supremely creepy and unusual soundtrack for Dawn of the Dead was rooted more in economics than cinematic brilliance.

The best and most recognizable moments of this CD come from the De Wolf, Rouge and Hudson sound libraries, an unremarkable collection of dusty music commonly used as background fodder for radio and television ad spots of the time. Purchasing the rights to a few pieces of “incidental music” from the collection was a less expensive alternative to having new music written for DOTD.  Not counting original tracks performed by Goblin, that is.  Romero’s choices were so…peculiar, yet they still fit.

My favorite tracks are The Gonk, of course, and the Mall Montage consisting of We are the Champions, Ragtime Razzmataz, Tango Tango, and Fugarock. They’re parodies of themselves and are so cartoonishly over the top that you can’t help but enjoy them in their grim context. Was Romero a genius? Lucky? Or were his tastes so avocado and burnt orange that The Gonk‘s destiny was self-assured?

I’m not a hater, really. I love George, Land of the Dead notwithstanding. And I love this soundtrack. Great noise to supplement endless repeats of Monster Mash at your Halloween party.

By the way, a Gonk is a sort-of furry doll thing with a sordid history.
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Dawn of the Dead – The Unreleased Incidental Music complete track list…

1. The Gonk H. Chappell
2. Cosmogony Part 1 P. Lemel
3. Sinestre E Towren
4. ‘Cause I’m a Man The Pretty Things (P. Reno)
5. Figment S. Park
6. Mask of Death J. Trombey
7. Scarey 1 D. Scott
8. Scarey 2 D. Scott
9. Dark Earth J. Trombey
10. Mall Montage Scene (We Are The Champions), Ragtime Razzamataz, Tango Tango, Fugarock
R. Tilsley, H. Chappell, B. Stoller, D. Scott
11. Barrarge J. Trombey
12. Desert De Glace P. Arvay
13. Sun High S. Park
14. Dramaturgy P. Lemel

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Where can you get your own? Well, try here, or here.

Category: Stuff  

Sneak Peek into Spooky Blue’s Workshop The zombie horde’s numbers continue to swell. I overhead this exchange between our scarecrow named The Grumble and one zombie..Grumble: “Ahh…Fred the zombie. How’s the family?” Fred: “Belligerent and numerous.”It took me a while to figure out where I had heard that before. Zombies have a sense of humor too, sort of. Among the rest of the assorted detritus are a pair of jackolanterns called the Moth Brothers. These two make a troublesome pair. I don’t know what’s in the water around these parts but it breeds insane mutant pumpkins. Correction…cool insane mutant pumpkins.

Category: Stuff  

	Everyone always said Alex was a bright boy. Blinding, really. About the only thing that would lure him out of the basement and away from his Radio Shack project kits was a Dreamsicle.  And bug zappers.  They say the sun sort of fried his brain.
	Meat. A bloody burger welded to a steel plate. And lest you forget the corporate masters’ wishes, just repeat the mantra, “Meat …you’re right in liking it.”
	After her husband Harold left, Jenny’s only option to put food on the table was to go to work. It didn’t take long until she finally found a steady paycheck in fast food as a drive-up speaker.
	“I’ve got a taste for livin’, I’m thinkin cold Blue Ribbon, I’ve got Pabst Blue Ribbon on my mind.” And if the unprepared fish boiling in their own mercury don’t give you the trots, a sixpack of PBRs will.
	This 1964 Good Housekeeping recipe shows that kitchen decor can be made to clash even with food. Or, at least what passed for food, for example this plate of what appears to be recently regurgitated peas over four enormous tobacco worms injected with Cheez Wiz.A chicken leg looks on in horror.

Category: Stuff