The late 1940s and 50s were certainly a golden age for advertising. Having just stepped out from under the oppressive shadow of The Hun, John Q Public took an appreciative breath of fresh air, opened a can of Spam, lit up a Marlboro and shotgunned a Party Quart. Print ads of the era contained a bizarre mixture of over-the-top enthusiasm for basically everything along with the subtle sexualization of just about everything. Mostly using hotdogs.

	“Oh – My – GAWD, those are NOT peas! I love peas! And I thought finding bubby’s stash of speed in the closet this morning was going to be the highlight of my day!”
	“Hey, toots. Please excuse my eunuch friend here. He’s got this abscessed tooth that he won’t get fixed and it makes him a little looney. Notice my pipe? You like that? I can lick the tip of my nose, too. Whatchu hidin’ in those coffee filters?
	“Dff hnk upf pottng sol ig dbishish”
	Toofy O’brien, Scottland’s answer to Opie Taylor, enjoys a heaping plate of intestinal worms.
	Tenderoni brand parasitic worm is preferred by 9 out of 10 children with elephantitis.
	I am possessed by satan, and I love Van Camp’s pork and beans.
	Dana knew she was staring at four unpleasant days without a bowel movement after she devoured her share of rhinoceros haunch. Nevertheless, she managed a smile for the camera and secretly took solace in the knowledge that her husband’s coronary was almost assured. Soon the insurance money would be hers.
	“Smile, and make it look like you’re really enjoying that glass of Dreamsicle-flavored sulphur water. Use your tongue, or something.” Heywood did the best he could, really. After this first and only photo shoot, neither the years nor his mother, Mrs. Jablowme were very kind to him.
	Yes, but Carl’s flashing electric ears prevented most people from ever noticing.
	Bacon. When you’ve just finished off the last of your stash, and you’re too baked to drive to White Castle.
	Shannon’s got a demon inside her. And when it’s not shrieking obscenities at the village priests, it likes to feed on freshly-pulped muscle tissue smeared over “Cellophane” brand bread. Mmmm-mm.

Category: Stuff