Zombie Classifieds
Posted on May 6th, 2010 by headspook
Would you like to have more friends, or even just one? Someone who will appreciate the time and meticulous detail you’ve invested in your authentic Starfleet Admiral’s uniform? Got a cat that needs a worthy staring opponent?
In an ongoing effort to clear space and make some extra glue money, I just got the repair bill for the old rattletrap (Ignition coils cost how much?). So, we offer up for sale this first generation pre-owned groundbreaker zombie.
« SALE PENDING »
- Built in 2006, this zombie skeleton critter has appeared in the Spooky Hollow outdoor haunt display for three years.
- (Basically) rugged paper mache construction was sealed against the elements (sort of) in ’06, which means that he never got any soggier than our other graveyard monsters.
- Sturdy wood base, no hands (Look, ma!), and original rust dresses up the coat hanger bits protruding from his wrists. (Tetanus booster shot is recommended)
Physical Dimensions:
- Beats me. About what you would expect, I suppose. I’ve never measured him. Details .. details.
Desirable features:
- Recumbent body style.
- Some cracked/broken arm bones, and loose, in-need-of-repair “stringy sinewy stuff” add to the quality of the overall decay.
- Original graveyard patina (Dirt – lots of that).
- Smells like a potato.
Price:
$135$100$95$79.50 + Shipping (as is).Make Offer- Refurb service available.
- Estimated shipping: No idea. Any overage will be refunded.
How do I buy this … thing?
- We’re taking the quick and dirty approach, so no fancy “Buy Now!” buttons at the moment. Contact Us Via Email.
Payment Methods:
- After a final agreement has been reached …
- Google Checkout, or
- Money order.
Return Policy:
- Fuggedaboudit.
Seriously? Sounds like a hunk of junk to me.
- Never trust a travelling zombie salesman.
What? How can you consider selling a part of the family? Is that legal?
$600 worth of vehicle repairs (just this week) rearranged the rules a little. Anybody like cats? I got one of those too.
Wow, what did you do to your wheels Spook dude? Must have been a real goody. Maybe sell the car. Might be cheaper. Who knows a moped might be the thing?
I like cats, but I also enjoy not having lacerations. Perhaps you could make a traveling show with a zombie and cat duet?
You know he looks a little upset. Maybe he doesn’t want to leave. Do you think he has feeling?