Grumble Say – Smash Bully, Get Freedom

Grumble say puny hooter blog job easy, wonder where name come from. Not see any yet.

Grumble say welcome to terrible world of Grumble, where Grumble answer all question and fix all problem.

Now, what happen today? What happen today is tea parties and pirates. What hell? Pirates? Real pirates make funny one-liners, buckle swashes. Puny guys in news only pirates if Grumble wear pretty princess sparkle spray and tiptoe through horrible tulips. But first Grumble say about puny tea parties.

So. Tea parties all over place gripe about too much tax. Too much pork. Somebody name Sam print money and send mouthful to place called Ill-in-nosy. That where new terrible president come from. Not hard see writing on wall.

Grumble say this terrible Sam uncle man not so rich all by self. He poor, but he strong, so he take your money. Then he say “not get enough”. But he tricky. He think you puny and stupid, but he know you send him away if you get mad. So he decide make his own money. Every new money he chuck out, he write your name on it! Say you pay tomorrow! “Chuck! Chuck! Chuck! Chuck!”

Sam take your money now, and he take money you not even seen yet. This all make Sam feel strong. He start tell you what do all time, what can say. He pay off friends. He bring in more friends, new friends. Soon you in what called “worker’s paradise” where Sam get paradise and you all time work for him.

Grumble say somebody eat pork all time get heart attack. Drink lots tea, clean out arteries, and get fresh blood. That way to fix crazy Sam.

What about pirates? Grumble say puny pirates need lesson in swim with sharks. All time hear “give what they want, they go away”. Grumble say give big pile dog doo in pirate face. If they keep staying, throw rock. If they still not get message, then do what have to when robber come. After dust settle, when officer ask why you hit puny robber on head five times, say he broke bat, so had to go find stick, but it all pretty much over by then.

Grumble say not pick fight for fun, but Grumble say deserve get stepped on when not stand up to bullies. Smash bully, get freedom. Not say anything, not rock boat, not keep treasure. And pirates eat up all succulent pork.

Grumble go untie puny Spooky man now, make sandwich, pet dogs.

7 Responses to “Grumble Say – Smash Bully, Get Freedom”

  1. That is too good!! Hope everything is well with you.

  2. By George that’s it!

    Send in a squadron of Grumbles to deal with the Pirates!

  3. Why is it Grumble has an oriental-pigeon-english accent in my head? Funny blog. You rock!

  4. Gotta say this- all the monies that go to Ill-in-nosy float to the top (CHICAGO MACHINE) and stay there.
    Also, one must wonder- will we all have to speak like Somalians on September 19th? (http://www.talklikeapirate.com/ )

  5. Nope. Like a politician. :)

    “Not-So Sunny” … Hee hee… I hear Grimlock from the Transformers.

  6. Heh. Stewie say Daddy Grumble make good sense. Stewie ready to chew pirates, say they not do bully thing ever again if they in tummy!
    Yum!

  7. Grumble wiser than looks.