So, logically, if she weighs the same as a duck...

And that's the story of Infamy, Calamity, and poor, poor Pariah.

There is a saying about witches:  "When the sun shines while the rain pours, the witch makes butter."  I don't know what that means. 

In any case, a stick witch will get plenty of attention guarding the cemetery gates to your haunt.  A sandwich gets lettuce and mustard.