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Secrets of Life with Paul Kerritt Home | Click here to brighten your day | |||
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| If a chicken and a half can lay an egg and
a half in a minute and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick
the seeds out of a dill pickle?" ...makes you think, does'nt it? Let me introduce myself. The name's Kerrit. Paul Kerrit, and I'm sort of furry, with big eyes and rug hair. I have spent many hours being mauled by a collie puppy, and it gives you perspective, you know? I mean, some people have a way with words, while others...erm...thingy. For instance, what is the difference between a dog and a fox? About five drinks. |
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I learned early in life that if you squeak when someone squeezes you, they keep squeezing you until your squeaker quits working. This strongly suggests an inability on the part of the squeezer to control his rational processes. Try explaining this to a dog. You won't get far. Bring it up at a school board meeting and you'll never be asked again to bring refreshments. Just a helpful tip.
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| I have rethought some things since that Heaven's Gate
tragedy, and recently got married. Here are some family pictures I'm quite proud of. Raising a family can be quite a task, as you can tell by my wife's expression on the right. |
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| Above, my youngest son Ceril trains our dog, and to the right is my teenage genious daughter Marzipan working on a science project. She bears a striking resemblance to her mother, don't you think?. |
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