"'Finding Nemo' Dead Fish Toy"

Remember getting rapped in the back of the head when mom caught you with your arm buried to the elbow in a box of Quisp, mining for the toy surprise?  Ah, youth.

I recently bought a box of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes to satisfy a curious craving for soggy corn shavings.  Upon opening the box, I realized that it contained a "Finding Nemo" fish toy.  Breakfast memories from ages past came flooding back and I immediately started excavating.  Utter disappointment best describes my experience with what passes for a "toy surprise" these days.

Not having seen the film, I'm not familiar with all the characters.  Take a gander at the instructions to the right.  Now, I realize that this toy is meant for a child, but come on!

Step 1:  Drop toy fish in water.
Step 2:  Toy fish sinks to the bottom.

That's it?  Well, if you look closely, there is more to this marvel.  According to step 1, you hold the fish with your left hand.  Step 2 depicts a right hand making threatening gestures at the toy fish.

Apparently, the fish is intended to rise (somehow, if the arrows mean anything at all).  Perhaps you have to coax the thing back to the surface, or maybe terrorize it in order to exhibit this behavior.  I decided to try it out and see what happens.

This particular fish is bright yellow, and from the front appears to look more like some kind of surprised muppet than a fish.

I suppose it's cute, in an insipid sort of way.

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With my left hand, I dropped the fish into about 5" of cool tap water.

With my right hand, I began making menacing gestures.

The fish didn't exhibit any peculiar behavior.  In fact, it did nothing at all.

For all intents and purposes, the fish appears to be dead.
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Conclusion:  This is a boring fish toy.  Even my cat, who thinks a wad of paper is a blast, wouldn't touch it.  "Dead fish" is about as exciting a description as I can come up with.

Oh well, I suppose the lesson here is to become accustomed to disappointment, frustration, and regret.  Kids shouldn't find that a problem under manipulation of the marketing genius that is Disney and Kellog's.  The cornflakes, however, were mighty tasty.

I decided to try gesturing at the fish again in an attempt to elicit some response. The fish appears to react to a "finger gun" pointed in its face.